


Burn

by ReturnToZero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, F/M, Irony, M/M, Multi, Some onsided relationships, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReturnToZero/pseuds/ReturnToZero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I would like to say so but that isn't true. Our relationship was more similar to what human romance is like, a deeper bond that did sometimes involve hate and anger.” He was dumbfounded at Rin's statement, tapping his large hand to signal for clarification, “I loved him. I would gladly give my life for his. Yet I hated his dumb face and his cockiness. We fought often but we also loved often. Unfortunately he was red for the pirate-lady, and I couldn't break his quadrants, especially when it made him so joyful. I would gladly let him go if it meant his happiness-which is exactly what I did.”</p>
<p>Silence seemed to come over them often, and Tavros struck him with inquires, relentless and patient. Even when he received no answer he would try another approach, loving the stories and thoughts shared-</p>
<p>It was better than any story book he read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn

Part 1: Memories

\---Burn---

Tavros gave a small whine as his knees creaked again, it was really difficult to get used to his new legs.

Sure he had used metal legs before but he still had a bit of trouble with each new pair of metal legs, this one being his third set, it was akin to breaking into new shoes, except with more pain and less style. Equius had fitted him just recently and it always hurt, no matter how many times he went through the process he just could never truly get used to the pain. He wondered if this is what the little mertroll had gone through when she traded her tail for legs. 

He took another step and knives stabbed at the tops of his thighs, searing and unrelenting, almost as if his lower limbs had been set aflame. Even as he bit back tears he continued to walk, some movements causing sharp pains right through his stumps, clinging to the fucked up tendons and damaged ligaments. He eventually grew tired of walking, reaching his limits by the mouth of a hidden cave, promptly sitting down on a rock and trying to ease his aching thighs. Once the weight had been shifted off his feet and onto his back the pain slowly eased away, the flames slowly dying out into numbing embers. He sighed in pure relief, he was able to concentrate on his surroundings instead of trying to cope with the blazing torture. Tavros smiled, he had always felt more comfortable in natural settings. He listened out for the distant caws and songs the wingbeasts sang and was pleased that he was able to recognize certain breeds. Nothing else seemed to disturb the tranquility of the forest, he wasn't even sure if there were any beasts in his direct proximity. He preferred to be away from his hive, the sounds of the forest had always soothed him-

A small scuffle of rocks was immediately picked up on, and Tavros became curious to what it could be. He waited patiently and the sound became more pronounced and certain, they were footsteps.

It became clear that the approaching object was quite large, and the echo of the cave didn't help in masking it's heavy footsteps, Tavros felt a twinge of fear settle in his heart. He tried to even his breathing, Rufio immediately said that he had experience with large beasts and that this should be no different. He felt a small amount of bravery fill his chest, making him still enough to wait for the oncoming object. Tavros felt faint all of a sudden, the back of his mind felt heavy and blocked, as if black sludge had slipped into the space between his skull and his think-pan, dripping into his mind and clogging it up.

A wave of nausea followed and the fear in his heart increased ten-fold, he felt trapped, scared, constricted, and so very vulnerable.

Before he could comprehend the sudden onslaught of panic he rose, all the pain shot straight to his head and all he could do was meander, looking aimlessly for some kind of shelter. He finally realized that the offender was close, now he wanted to hide and break down. Unwanted fears and doubts clouded his mind, tears blurring his vision as his ears rang painfully. He found cover in some of the shrubbery and curled up into a ball, trying to stay as silent as possible. His tears spilled over onto his cheeks and he used a hand to cover his mouth, the pain in his legs and the panic in his heart making him nearly insane.

He felt the presence of another and could only look up begrudgingly once the shadow was overcast, he was right about the size of the approaching object.

But the object was a troll.

And adult troll to be exact, and he began to pick out distinguishing features, taking note of twisting long horns and a towering stature, he trembled as the ringing became shrill and never ending, Tavros swore it was the dead screaming-the troll must have been the one behind it! He was pushed out of his protective ball, shuddering and fearing for his life, falling backwards and completely helpless, _hopeless_ \- HE WAS GONNA DIE, THIS WAS THE END, HE WAS GONNA DIE HERE-

The shadowy adult troll used a long claw to gingerly trace his sign, the screaming immediately ceased, he felt relief begin to flood his system.

He was hefted up and cradled into large arms, easily fitting into the troll's arm-span and chest with more than enough space. Surprisingly the giant troll was gentle, Tavros was shocked at the size of the troll's hands, they were hulky and disproportioned compared to the lowblood physique, he wondered what the adult was planning. His captor hummed, the low sound rumbling through his chest and felt strangely soothing, especially after the horrible screaming from earlier. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and he dozed off into a blissful slumber, enveloped in an endless warmth.

\----Burn----

Waking up in a foreign place was not Tavros' idea of fun.

He sprung up and nearly wanted to abscond the fuck out of there, he just wanted to go back to his hive. His sudden movement had alerted the giant beside the hay pile, fear clawed and tore at his heart. Wincing at the paranoia he felt himself grow very small, curling his metal legs closer and whining softly. The other troll made no noise, instead silently offering a glass of water. 

Tavros didn't accept the glass from the gargantuan demon beside him, instead he tried his best to make himself seem defiant.

This only seemed to amuse the other troll, successfully gaining a thick, deep laugh to pierce the silence. Tavros jumped at the noise and began to tremble, a bit weary of the sudden volume and the somewhat menacing laugh. Soon after the adult troll had calmed down he smiled, the sharp knives in his mouth gleaming pearly white, “So grub, you're related to the Summoner, aren't you?” Tavros noticed the sudden fluctuation in his voice towards the end of his question, the tone had skipped in and out of a deep growl and a light chime. It was strange, he had been doing so well in the beginning. It was hard to truly make any sort of useful information from this but he instead nodded, refusing to speak.

The tall troll finally stood, his great height looming over Tavros as he scooped him up in his arms again, “That's...a miracle. It's nice to see that his descendant has some wicked kicks.” 

Tavros was aware that he was referring to his metal legs, and he stayed still in his arms, hoping not to attract attention. The bigger troll began to lead him out, “Well, its best if I get you to your hive-now that you are awake.”

After a few long strides he found himself at the mouth of the cave, glancing over the giant's shoulder to see the small hive connected in the cavern and hidden in the darkness. With a quick slide he was able to find the floor again, a large slightly chilled hand at his back, gently pushing him forward. “Go now, before anyone sees you!” 

Tavros glanced back quickly before hurrying to his hive, wondering why the troll had exercised such clemency on him. It was not common, such kindness was frowned upon in their society, the tradition must have been very clear-especially with his age. He still struggled to walk correctly but mused in the meantime about the adult troll. Questions swam in his mind, swirling and going nowhere as he failed to find answers. Even though the large troll was scary there was a sense of calm with him, and he seemed to have many sweeps of experience. It was obvious that he was of a higher blood, there was no way a lowblooded troll could ever grow to that size.

Entering his hive and darting straight to his room was automatic, sitting down on what the humans left behind (it was called a 'bed'?), curiosity consumed his every thought. The most prevalent question was the older troll's identity, why was the mystery troll trying to figure out his connection with the Summoner?

Vriska was an expert on such things since she had Mindfang's diary, deciding on the best route he began packing a satchel, he would head to her hive tomorrow for more insight on the matter.

\---Burn---

“Wow Toreadork, you reeeeeeeeally out-did yourself this time!” 

Vriska cackled loudly, throwing her head back and slapping her knee. Tavros pouted, frustration tinging his features and voice, “I'm uh-serious Vriska, I met an adult troll!” She snorted and crossed her arms, “You're a horrible liar Tavvy! You should stop immersing yourself in those stuuuuuuupid fairy tales, they're for little grubs.” Her laughter only continued, loud and shrill, yet once she started lowering her voice the laughter was smooth and bearable; Tavros growled, “Then uhm, just fancy this idea then- say I was out and I, uh-met an adult troll. He uhm, he was towering and enormous, with wild graying waves of wild hair, a-and horns that swiveled upward. He must have been a h-highblood, he e-e-even mentioned me having the same blood as the S-Summoner!” Vriska rolled her eyes, outwardly expressing disbelief yet taking into consideration his description-

She had recalled one of the many passages from Mindfang's journal, noting the excerpt had lightly touched upon her slight jealousy with a higher-blooded troll who had a budding affection for the Summoner. If Tavros' story was true than it could have been the same troll-he obviously showed weakness through his mercy-his pity overruling his second nature on killing such weak and useless trolls. 

Soon an amused smile unfurled onto her face, maybe if she met the supposed adult troll she could ask about his time-line and if he had ever been graced with Mindfang's presence-

Tavros waved a hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention, “Hey! So uhm-uh, do you maybe-believe me now?” She shakes her head, “Of course not Toreadork! I won't believe it till I see it with my own eye!” 

He grabbed her wrist, ignoring her complaints as he led her back to the cave where he stumbled upon the giant-troll, making a hushing noise and hiding behind some of the boulders. She began to fight back, trying to land a hit without being to hard, she knew he was a delicate flower so she didn't feel the need to completely destroy him at the moment.Thunderous steps were heard from the cave, amplified and growing-

The monstrous adult troll had appeared.

Tavros immediately covered her mouth before she could yell in disbelief, the gargantuan troll leaving from the cave and picking at some berries before returning to the darkness of his home. Vriska found herself in sheer awe, if he was living on their planet who was to say there weren't more? Maybe after their session they returned to their home planet, voyaging to find their old hives, only to discover them occupied by the most current players. Maybe she could even find Mindfang-

She slapped herself, of course she would never find her idol- that idiotic rustblood had killed her in cold blood. He had turned on her despite their love, taking advantage of their very romantic and deep bond! Mindfang's story only served as a reminder to never allow anyone to have control over her. _She wouldn't allow herself to succumb to such a fate, such an untimely death-_

“Do you believe me now?” Tavros finally spoke, she turned to him in shock and was slightly impressed with his confident statement, she would never acknowledge it of course, “Maybe. Who is he exactly? His horns do seem to match a higher class.” Tavros face-palmed, “I uhm- came to you for that answer! I was h-hoping that you would perhaps know something about it th-through Mindfang's journal.” Vriska scoffed, rolling her eyes, aware of his faux-confidence was shattering so quickly, “You dumbass, you really think she could have anything to do with this troll? Pleeeeeeeease, give me a break. You should be glad I even fancied the idea to help you with this.”

Tavros found himself internally seething, already regretting seeking help from the 'Spiderbitch', “Fine, if you don't care about this th-then you can go away, I'll figure out who he is on my own.”

His legs creaked loudly, the burning returning as he wobbled his way into the cave, Vriska only watched as he entered, unsure of whether to inform anyone else or to simply wait. “I can't save you if you go in there by yourself, dweeb.” He simply shrugged her off, “I need to know who he is, something inside tells me I just have to know.” Her eyes followed him until he completely faded into the darkness, her insides flipped and twisted, “Don't you dare die Toreadork.”

\---Burn---

Tavros didn't feel so brave now, unable to completely judge his surroundings or where the menacing beast resided. 

His heart began to thrum, and soon he heard voices- taunting and bringing him into a whole new low. Fear and self-deprecating thoughts hammered at his skull, till pain flooded his senses, sweat cascaded down his temples, his hands growing clammier as nausea hit him hard- it was the same feeling as last time, it meant that he was close.

He kicked rocks and other debris, leaving his arms spread to act as his eyes, blindly following an open path. His foot got caught as he moved forward, sending the bull-horned troll rolling, landing on hard, jagged edges of _something_. Tavros laid in silence, the noise of his fall sending a resounding echo into the oblivion of darkness, he put that aside and instead focused on getting up again. When he first landed there was an initial crunch-a crunch that was familiar, the sound was recognizable when he had first broken his legs-

The blood drained from Tavros' face, he landed on a pile of _bones_.

His fear returned again, the dead calling out to him as the footsteps returned at full force, Tavros quivered, unsure of which direction the sound was coming from. His tears flooded his eyes, and he found no restraint to even hide his cries, sobs bouncing off the walls as he suffered in the darkness.

Glowing orange orbs came into view, as if lights had been introduced in the void, “You again? I thought I told you to run off.”

Blissful silence entered again, Tavros sighed and cradled his head, his vision still blurry from orange tears, “I...I wanted to see you again. Something brings me h-here and I can't really explain it. I also uhm, have a lot of questions for you, but you don't have to answer them if you don't want to...”

The older troll only nodded, repeating his actions again and taking the little bull troll into his arms, “It's very brave of you to enter in here again, especially after knowing that you would suffer from the chuckle voodoos if you approached my abode.” Tavros found the lingering effects to be crippling, his ears still buzzed slightly, his mind aching with any heavy thought, “Chuckle voodoos? Like uhm-like a purple blood? With Mirthful Messiahs and such...” The idle babbling earned him a bubbly laugh from the giant, Tavros could only heat up and hide his rust-stained cheeks.

“You certainly are much cuter than the last rust-blood I cared for, but you are zettasweeps younger...” His smudgy smile-face paint could not take off his melancholic expression, it was obvious that he had no more tears for the past, yet the sadness had set in his bones and his face, the way his eyebrows crinkled and his eyes darkened into a shade nearly black. Tavros stayed silent, unsure of how to confront the despondent soul. 

After a few moments passed the Taurus slowly brought a hand towards his face, brushing away some of the hair stuck to his paint, trying to get his attention, “Uhm, I am-very, very g-grateful for your kindness...but aren't you aware of the hemospectrum and h-how kindness is considered weak?” The older troll nodded, finally moving towards his hive, presumably, “Of course, as do I know that it is my era that the tradition had begun. Everyone had taken to it very easily, most of the highbloods being cut-throat in order to gain our high-ranks in society. It was unfair that we used strength and size and life-span to ridicule the lowerbloods; Yet it had become clear to me that such life-span and time errs the mind and soul, making this life no longer a blessing but a curse.” 

They shared another moment of silence but he quickly resumed, “Sometimes some of the most astounding deeds are made by those who don't have tomorrow to live for. Sometimes, the greatest lives ever lived have been those who cherished the days given to them, who were blessed with little time to do the impossible.”

Tavros nodded, “You mean like the uhm-the Summoner, and the S-Sufferer...”

“Exactly. I sometimes find myself here alone, long after I should be-unable to kill myself or to find an end to this meaningless life. I hate to say it, I would have preferred to be a low blood then to have succumbed to this fate.” Tavros frowns, “But, you're strong, and big! You could do anything you wanted-and we'd have to listen to you and such...” The Highblood sighed, staring down at Tavros with a scowl, “I have nothing to fight for. Nothing to gain from using such power. Even my prized paintings mean nothing if I don't have some sort of thrill from defeating those trolls. Terror coupled with rage is meaningless to me now.” 

The highblood finally made it outside the cave, a place unrecognizable to the younger troll. Instead this place was filled with trees and heavy plants, hiding a simple cot underneath all the greenery. The door slid open and inside were hues of purple, varying in dark and light tones. Very little furnishings were available, only one table and a broken husktop. The ablution chamber was also downstairs, complete with a lavish basin and a single open window. The stairs spiraled upward, leading to a couple of rooms-

“In case you were wondering this is my hive, my main one at least. I have to often times adopt old, abandoned hives and make myself comfortable. I do with what's available.” He carried Tavros upstairs, laying him down in a blanket pile, settling beside him and finding a comfortable position with the younger troll in grasp, “You may ask any questions, and I will answer them as best as I can; but I request that you accompany me for the night.”

Tavros flushed harder, anxiety and nervousness settling, “A-And if I don't want to st-stay?”

“Simple, I'll cull you. Now get comfortable, since I might end up falling asleep without you.” Tavros gulped, trying to move his torso free, anything else was fine as long as the giant didn't crush his torso. Soon they shifted into a manageable pose, Tavros laying on his stomach and chest, his back towards the huge troll.

“What's your name? Err, or what would you like me to call you?” With a hum the giant troll responded, “Rin will be fine. It is not my real name but my predecessor's shortened name was such. Also it was the first name my beloved little fly used in mistake to who I really was.” Tavros sighed, understanding his insult to the Summoner, “Okay Rin, uhm-You said you are the only one here or..?” Rin nodded, “Yes. The only other person from my era alive is...the damned Heiress.” 

Tavros tried not to be scared, it became apparent that the strange and gentle troll was perhaps not to gentle and kind during his era, “S-So you're uhm-you're the uh, G-G-Grand-”

“Yes. I am the Grand Highblood. A ruthless killer and an even crazier clown. I am the one who celebrates the bloods by painting with life-drops.” The rust-blood could feel his heart drop, his instincts telling him to run away-to abscond and attempt to save his own skin-

But he was petrified. There was no way he could leave. It had been long ago that he was such a cruel being, and now he needed someone to support him. He needed someone to help him from the dysmal and insipid days of nothing, the emptiness needed to be _filled_.

“So you were flushed for the Summoner?”

“I would like to say so but that isn't true. Our relationship was more similar to what human romance is like, a deeper bond that did sometimes involve hate and anger.” He was dumbfounded at Rin's statement, tapping his large hand to signal for clarification, “I loved him. I would gladly give my life for his. Yet I hated his dumb face and his cockiness. We fought often but we also loved often. Unfortunately he was red for the pirate-lady, and I couldn't break his quadrants, especially when it made him so joyful. I would gladly let him go if it meant his happiness-which is exactly what I did.”

Silence seemed to come over them often, and Tavros struck him with inquires, relentless and patient. Even when he received no answer he would try another approach, loving the stories and thoughts shared-  
It was better than any story book he read.

Now he knew the truth to Pupa Pan, and how the world was back then.

“What's your name? Your real one?”

“G-That's not important shit-blood.”

Time flew by and as the sun began to rise the pair began to doze off, each in the comfort of something dangerously close to a friend.

\---Burn---

“Hey! I uhm, I brought you more of those breads you l-like so much!”

Rin smiled brightly, it had been approximately 4 months since their first encounter, one that had revitalized him in an unimaginable way. Tavros was comfortable coming every other day, bringing a gift along with more inquiries. Rin was more than glad to accept gifts and in exchange give more insight to the young troll. He thanked the Messiahs for such a blessing, it seemed as if every brown-blood taught him something, finding their own special place in his blood-pump to call their own. 

The only thing that bothered him was how the rust-bloods were dividing his heart, recalibrating his ideas, emotions, and interests.

Tavros was not a bad-looking troll, in fact he was very beautiful. That was the issue though, his thoughts seemed to revolve around the little Taurus, even thoughts of pailing and domination; other times he would long to slice his throat open to see the miracles come from his body in the form of color.

His painting easel had dried up long ago, save for the most precious and rare material, his delicate blood. It wasn't even enough to write his full name in but it was better than nothing. He would wait for the opportune moment to finally use the wicked color, to be able to grace the world with one final mark left by his one true love before everything would finally go to waste.

“Uhm, Rin? I have to talk to you uhm, about something.”

He pulled out of his reverie, turning to fully face the tiny little bull, smiling and taking the fresh bread from his small hands, “Yes? I am at your service petit taurus?” Tavros laughed, a melodic and soothing noise, which was enough to bring his deadened blood-pump to flutter, “I am getting back pains, and I know I have a uhm, a leg injury but this pain is new and sudden. I've tried to get help for it and nothing seems to work.”

Rin nearly gasped in surprise, his smile growing as he tried to find the best way to inform Tavros of the ailment-

“My my, I knew you were the Summoner's descendant but I had no idea you would pupate as well.” Rin broke out into more joyous laughter while Tavros whined, “I don't uhm-really understand what you're getting at...” Rin shook his head, instead hugging the Taurus tightly, nuzzling him before finally pulling away to directly look at him, “You are growing your wings.”

At the mention of wings Tavros beamed brighter than the Alternian sun, hugging Rin and his voice jumping an octave, “Really? I-I get wings?! Wow, I've only dreamed of f-f-flying like Pupa Pan! This is- amazing!” The older troll rubbed his back, “I can definitely help you with this soon-to-be flutterbeast. I should be able to progress your stages of pupation and when you'll get your wings.” Tavros jumped as best he could, barely able to contain his sheer joy, “I don't care how much it hurts, as long as I'll one day get to fly!” 

Rin frowned, recalling another rustblood and his ostracized being, “Are you sure this is good? That you share this information with everyone, since you'll be considered a mutant...” Tavros' excitement finally died down, coming back to a rational level of thinking, “Well...I suppose Gamzee won't mind, he'll even say that they're m-miracles...And everyone is nice to me, save for a couple of the highbloods...But I trust that Feferi will keep them in line.”

Rin nodded, smiling brightly at the list of names given, “Ah I see, these are good trolls I suppose? Now I have a question for you little flutterbeast. What exactly happened to your legs?” 

The silence following the question was thick, permeating into something that choked Tavros, “A uhm-a FLARPing accident. Involving one of the trolls I know.” With a sigh he refused to speak another word, Rin nodded understandingly, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve.” Tavros shook his head, moving his gaze to speak directly to Rin, his irises barely filling with amber, “It's okay-but uhm, I really nervous now, what if I uhm, I don't take care of my wings? O-or that I somehow miss them? Like, they don't grow right...”

Rin smiled, brushing a few bangs from his face and bravely pressing a kiss to his forehead, “I'll take care of you, rest assured that I will make sure you'll be fine, little miracle.” Tavros flushed hard, completely off guard from the affectionate gesture. It stirred something within, recalling him of a small bull that would often kiss his forehead-

“Tavros? Are you alright?” His voice was loud, and almost panicked-

“I'm fine. Uhm-th-th-thank you. I will come as often as p-possible, since I know that you'll take care of my w-wing growth. A-Any uhm, tips for now?” Rin nodded, “Keep you home very cold. You might experience moments of extreme heat, and allow yourself to make a nest, or a cocoon.” With a nod Tavros began to return to his hive, thinking about his relationship with Rin. The more he visited the more he felt a sense of nostalgia. 

It was deeper than just remembering his lusus, it was a memory within his heart. 

It sounded dumb but it made complete sense, how he felt as if Rin was someone he was very acquainted with-perhaps even at one point in another alternate time-line they had fallen in love. But it was certain that he was not the Summoner- only a descendant. He was only a far away piece of the time. 

_He had nothing to do with this troll._

At least not romantically, it wouldn't make sense- if he was only 'in love' with the Summoner than who was he flushed for? It was obvious that Rin would share but he would never share the complete truth. He avoided anything topic residing before the Sufferer's time-

Pain brought Tavros from his intense musings, his back throbbing as a fire was lit beneath the skin. Joined with twisting and tense muscles he felt the four points of focus on his back. He rushed to the ablution chamber, hastily working off his shirt and turning his back to the mirror-

He couldn't turn his head to see his back well enough, instead grabbing another hand mirror and working his way to seeing where his problems stemmed from. Black splotches marred his gray skin, each in clumps centered at his lower back and underneath his shoulder-blades. He twisted to touch the ugly markings, wincing and pulling away immediately. He fought through the wave of stinging in his lower back, apparently any sort of pressure made him want to cry. After regaining his senses and pushing the last bites away he began working on his hive, making sure to take Rin's advice seriously.

\---Burn---

The pain had gotten worse over the course of the week, so much it began to affect his mood and attitude. 

Tavros whines as he touches the new deformities, his back having 4 small bumps, pushing against his skin and nearly tearing open- he feared they would pop any minute. He continues to ache, any sort of pressure hurt, now even clothes had bothered the sensitive points. 

As the days pass they only grow bigger and more painful, whining as Rin pours on an herbal paste. "I told you they would hurt. It does get better though. I am curious to see your wings, it's a beautiful process."

Soon a flower begins to bloom off of Tavros' left shoulder-blade.

He notices the bud, directly over where one of his bumps used to reside, the skin melding to the vine. It no longer hurts for that particular spot, but he finds himself drained of energy.

"The hardest part is when you get your sprouts."

He smiled lovingly at Tavros, ruffling his hair affectionately as he makes sure all four sprouts are in place. "They sap your energy, so be very cautious. If you do not rest and conserve your energy then the saplings can be fatal." With a weak nod he lays down, lethargic and trying not to fall asleep on the spot. Rin laughs, “I can take you back to your hive if you wish. You are also more than welcome to stay here.”

It was easier to hear the growl present in Rin's voice with his eyes closed. It wasn't neccassarily menacing but it had reminded him much of another purple-blooded troll with a growl in his voice. With a sigh he found a guilt festering in his heart, he had rejected the clown and avoided him since they returned from the game. They had technically lost but it was unsure if their game was a valid one. 

He missed rapping with his bro. He missed their talks, even if they went on multiple tangents and never really did anything. Tavros sometimes wished they could have stayed friends throughout the game-that Gamzee didn't have to be hurt by his rejection. Tavros wasn't ready for anything past a moirailship, and he was fine with that. Being around Gamzee was different now-and he wasn't sure how to feel around him anymore.

He was surprised when Gamzee pushed him away.

Sure he might have been crazy and sober but he could forgive that. It wasn't like Gamzee was the one who killed him. The whole thing was a big nightmare. A nightmare that was never resolved, very few talked to Gamzee to begin with, but now it was clear he completely isolated himself, at least from his friends. He won't even respond to Karkat, it wasn't until recently he heard about their break-up.

He was afraid for Gamzee.

The more he thought about his friend the more he began to sulk, tears burning his vision and his throat closing up, maybe if he had said yes Gamzee wouldn't have become this way. Maybe if they were together Gamzee wouldn't have killed all his friends. Maybe if they were together he could fix him, make him like the _real_ Gamzee, the one he actually liked and wanted to get close to-

Rin picked up the budding miracle troll, moving him to a blanket pile and gently laying him down. The poor boy must have been in so much pain to be crying so horribly, but something else told him that it was more than that. He had heard that sound before-the wails of a broken hearted lover. 

_His_ broken hearted lover.

He ran his large digits through the fluffy mohawk, lately Tavros had stopped gelling his hair in order to tend to his growth-spurt, and it was a refreshing change. Rin brought his hand down, tracing the shape of Tavros' jaw before letting his nails lightly scratch his collar. Tavros was in a completely different world, miles away from the present. Tears consumed the beautiful rust-blood, and years of stress, pain and torment had finally caught up. He cried for himself, for his ancestors, for _his lover_ -

And Rin was useless.

**He had always been useless.**

He couldn't stop his young love from dying. He couldn't stop the Summoner from leaving him. He couldn't stop the reincarnation from agony. All he could do was watch, to try to reach out only to be too far. First it had been his mind. The next it had been his guilt. Now it was his age-

He didn't know why the messiahs loved to torment him. To curse his true name and give him so many miracles-only to take them away and damn his weak blood-pump. He had lost so much already, and now he only waited for the boy to wake, to ask about his tears- to find the meaning behind them. He would use this third chance, and pray for another miracle, a lasting miracle.

It would be his last prayer.

He knew his time was approaching, he would hold out for as long as possible before his flame would be snuffed out. The winds will be too strong one day-and he'll leave with the winds. For now he will stay as long as possible, until he could see this last miracle through.

\---Burn---

Tavros squeals at the sight of all his sprouts in full bloom, his orange flowers big and dotted with black speckles, the color somewhat dripping onto the skin around the vine and blending in with his natural color. Rin smiles, "You have a wonderful aroma...if you intend to court someone I suggest you do it now..." 

The idea of seduction made Tavros blush, his cheeks filled to the brim with orange, he wouldn't even know who to seduce! His feelings had been very neutral with most of the trolls, with few exceptions to this rule. Rin only smiled, “ You seem to be at ends with this courting idea. You do have someone in mind though, correct?” Tavros shook his head furiously, there was no way he would do anything with anyone. Soon he heard the adult break into a honking laughter, something too Gamzee like to even be coincidence.

“Don't lie to me! Cmon, there has to be someone you like. Even if it's a little more than the others.”

Tavros covered his face, Gamzee's smiling face came to his mind at the mention of liking some more than others, and he couldn't help but get worked up over the young clown's initial proposal. Rin sat beside the sprout, patting his shoulder carefully, “Or maybe you need help sorting your feelings?”

“I do need uhm-help with that. Okay so I have this friend that I uhm, really got along with. And he was nice and really happy, and he would make me uhm-sometimes feel, g-good about myself. I really enjoyed having him as a friend. But after the game things got uhhh-they got really bad. He uhm, he doesn't talk to me anymore and I know it's my fault.” Tavros felt the words come tumbling out before he could stop them, he hadn't meant to go so in depth about the situation, he wanted to keep it vague and somewhat detached. It felt good to talk about it though, to simply say what was bothering him without having to worry. 

It was kind of like when he used to talk to Gamzee, it was perfect and easy-going, no pressure-just talking. Even if Gamzee got lost or didn't understand completely it was nice to have someone listening. Well, listening as long as they could before the sopor made them blank out entirely. Regardless he still confided in the purple troll, because he seemed to always understand in his own way.

“So you've tried reaching out to them? Hmm. Perhaps you just need to keep trying, but maybe you should visit him.” Rin continued to gently caress his shoulder, relaxing the Taurus instantly. He dropped his voice, “It may be dangerous though, so I'd like to escort you to prevent you from over-exerting yourself.”

Tavros nodded, still in his listless state as he closed his eyes, dreaming of a better time with Gamzee.

\---Burn---

Tavros hadn't been talking to her at all.

She had no idea what had happened, all she knew was that he was alive, just with a sour attitude. The one time she tried to talk to him it seemed all he could do was whine and bitch-having the gall to insult her pathetically before signing off. 

No one was able to talk to Tavros since he had gone in the cave.

Maybe the adult troll had him under a spell, using him as a pail slave and taking advantage of him when he needed relief. The thought made her shiver, she was thoroughly disgusted with the idea. Yet even as she thought about Tavros' possible suffering she had no clue how to begin. 

No one would believe her.

Suspicion would rise at her claims, Vriska had no way to communicate with anyone like Vantas or Maryam-they would find the whole ordeal to be too dangerous to even attempt. It was sad in a sense, how poor little weakling Tavros would live the rest of his life as a whore for a highblood. Maybe she should have killed him again, just to spare him the pain.

Her control was limited now, ever since the game ended she couldn't reach out to Tavros anymore, her powers had dulled on his senses since he had entered the cave. The evil one was most likely intercepting his powers on the rust-blood, and she couldn't compare to his eons of experience. 

Online she saw the purple letters finally move into the next window, signaling a connection. It had been months since the clown had talked to anyone, it was not a relief to her-but it did provide a beacon of hope for Tavros' survival. Gamzee was the perfect solution, it was obvious that he had been flushed for the troll, and he might be dumb enough to actually go along with saving Tavros.

She quickly typed up a proposal in another file, switching to Trollian to make contact;

 

aG: Hey Gamzee! 8een awhile since I've seen your stupid handle on here. I've got some news to tell you, a lot has changed since you've 8een antisocial.

Vriska waited impatiently, she hoped the dumb clown wasn't sober, since it would end up with aggression and probably a few deaths. It was times like these that she was glad she was such a badass, to protect herself of course. She couldn't gauge her strength against his though, since she had never truly seen his full capabilities, his capricious nature made it almost impossible to be certain of her victo-

tC: HeY SpIdErBiTcH. dIdN'T ThInK YoU'D Be tHe fIrSt tO TaLk tO Me. I WaS KiNd oF HoPiNg aNoThEr bRo cOuLd fInAlLy cHaT WiTh mE.

She scoffed at the name, smirking as she replied swiftly.

aG: You mean like pathetic little Tavros? :::: ) Actually, I think he'd got 8igger pro8lems to worry a8out then his fling. Oh wait, you two were never a thing, were you? :::: )

tC: ShUt tHe MOTHERFUCK UP. No oNe aSkEd fOr YOUR MOTHERFUCKING OPINION yes, I was hoping to CHAT WITH HIM but I wanted TO gET mYsELF UNDER wraps.

She really didn't want to hear his sob story so she interrupted his oncoming message, copying the prompt she wrote earlier.

aG: Look you useless clown, you might actually get a chance with him if you hear me out. He had a run in with an adult troll and I think he's 8eing controlled 8y that giant, and I need help to take down that guy.

tC: TaVbRo iS WiTh a hIgHbLoOd?

aG: Yeah, 8ut pro8a8ly not willingly. It'll be a win-win for 8oth of us, I'll get information from the highblood and you'll win Tavros. Simple as that.

tC: YoU LaY YoUr dIrTy hAnDs oFf oF ThIs. YoU'Ll gO Up fUcKiNg eVeRyThInG Up iF YoU GeT InVoLvEd. I'Ll sAvE TaV By mYsElF.

aG: Oh please, you think you can handle against a high8lood all 8y yourself?

tC: I AM A HIGHBLOOD. I know how they think, AND I'LL BE THE ONE TO SAVE TAVROS. Tell me WHERE he IS

aG: If you aren't going to help me then this isn't going to work out.

aG: Have fun looking for him alone then. :::: )

tC: TELL ME-

Vriska logged off, shutting her husktop angrily, that didn't go at all like she planned. It was bullshit, how could Gamzee even think for a moment that he could match up to an _adult highblood?!_ He must have been dumber than she gave him credit for. The beacon was no longer there, and now all she could do was fight by herself, _like she always had._

\---Burn---

Their conversations never ended.

As crazy and improbable as it was their contact didn't waiver, Gamzee pestered her with the location of his flush-crush and she argued with him about going as a pair rather then him trying to be a hero-a dumb one at that. Yet after all the angry comments and apprehensive behavior they seemed to be making progress. Vriska hated how much she let on, and Gamzee was seeing her faults-he weak points and infuriated her. No one was supposed to see those points, she would cover them before he was able to get everything out of her, she still had a few moves up her sleeve.

It seems that the gargantuan troll had some as well-

_He was going to take Tavros to Gamzee._

She was completely excluded from the situation, yet Gamzee kept her semi-informed. The clown was detestable, and why the demon would do such a thing made her seethe. It must had involved Tavros, he probably didn't want her at all.

She sighed, for once letting herself feel bad. It wasn't common but something as delicate as this was never easy to come up with. No matter how hard she tried it seems she was never enough, never able to do anything quite right. Sure she was able to get John to God-teir but it didn't mean that she did it for him. It wasn't until later that she was able to come to terms with their platonic relationship. And Tavros-she _wanted_ to make him stronger. She was just _trying_ to help him. It was for his own good.

Vriska gathered a bag together, making sure to take her dice and making her way to the cave-she would get to the bottom of all this.

\---Burn---

Gamzee waited anxiously, his blood-pump hammering in his chest as he could only wait idly. He had already cleaned up and practiced his speech, talking to no one in particular as he tried to keep his voice from fluctuating too much. With time he supposed it would get better. He should have tried more though, to make sure he didn't scare Tavros. That set aside he hadn't talked to the Taurus in months. It was horrid-what would he even say? Their last conversations were on shaky topics, long ago when both were still in the game. The only other conversation was a simple hasty good bye followed by nothing.

He wondered how much Tavros changed. The game changed everyone, both physically and mentally. 

He drove away any thoughts regarding the game, he didn't have time to mull over that motherfucking shit. But he did have time to mull over their current situation, if Tavbro was really being controlled by this Highblood then he had no idea what to expect. He wondered how high on the spectrum he was. If he ended up being a purple-blood like himself then it could end up disastrous.

The thought of the adult taking advantage of _his_ little bull made his blood-pump burn with revolt, he didn't care if he died for such a rebellious nature, he just _WANTED_ Tavros. That troll was a miracle, his dismal life had considerably brightened after they began to talk. His whole world seemed to revolve around the brown-blood, and he didn't care if it was wrong or considered impossible-

_Gamzee loved Tavros._

It wasn't a flush anymore, he understood the human meaning behind the word. His little 'heart' seemed to beat only for Tavros. Anyone else wouldn't do, no matter how wonderful they would be. Tavros wasn't just wonderful, he was _perfect_. To be able to make him want to be better, want to control himself, to give him a _reason_ to live made him oh-so dependent on the little bull. Yet if Tavros couldn't be happy with him then...

He didn't want to think about that. Tavros was coming here, so he might have had a reason-right? For now he would wait, his feelings in the air and open to any attack. He knew the passion he held would stay inside if Tavros didn't feel for him. The flame of love left behind not only warmth but destruction in it's wake- and Gamzee was definitely playing with fire. 

Whether or not he would be burned was the unanswered question.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a wriggling day fic for a good friend of mine ;w; It's also incomplete so I hope that I can finish up the second part soon. I am also looking for feedback! oAo
> 
> Overall I hope you enjoyed it and I shall plot for the irony to come in later.


End file.
